Activation energy: the never-ending saga

After so many dry, beautiful days this fall, I might have forgotten for a second how to motivate.

This morning, it was easier: despite the gloom and rain and the cold-cold world that made it so enticing to stay in bed, I had plans with some friends. There was no way I would bail on that. So, into my warm layers and my rain gear and onto my bike and away I went!

Later, when I was home again sitting on my couch getting work done and feeling super cozy and warm with my down blanket and my heater going, it was much harder.

I’d planned to go to Mt Tabor to do a Foot Patrol walk — something I’ve been trying to do once a month, though I’m pretty behind currently — but there was no timeline (except for it needing to be light out), no one to meet up with who would be disappointed if I didn’t show up, nothing, in fact, to hold me accountable at all. And thus it was very easy to bail, to decide to stay put under my cozy blanket and keep on working.

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(no, there wasn’t any snow at Mt Tabor; this is from 2016. But it sure felt about like this today)

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BUT! Even without having a lot of practice recently, I do remember that it’s basically always worth it to muster, no matter how foreboding the weather seems when you look at it from inside a place of comfort. So I bundled up, packed an extra layer just in case, and hopped on my bike.

Of course it was the best thing ever. Mt Tabor was windy and cold, but so, so lovely and peaceful. Kinglets sang me all the way around the park; the world felt big and empty and quiet and my footsteps small, which sounds sad but is actually one of my favorite feelings, being but a small part of a very large and beautiful and impartial world. I walked and walked and walked until it was too dark to see the trash I was trying to pick up and my fingers were frozen anyway, and then I walked some more, and finally I got back on my bike and came home.

I’m very glad to have rallied. Whatever the weather, it is always worth it. And I feel like I’ve learned this lesson over and over and over, enough that it seems like it shouldn’t ever be hard anymore, and maybe it isn’t as hard as it might be if I hadn’t learned it so many times, but there you go. I still need to remind myself, and today was a great reminder.

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